1) Individually write down what you want from this open relationship
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<div class="">- individually or/and as a couple</div>
<div class="">- with women or men</div>
<div class="">Why or why not?</div>
<div class="">- With whom and who is excluded</div>
<div class="">Why or why  not?</div>
<div class="">- Frequency and significance of extra-marital relationships:</div>
<div class="">- Can I see the person multiple times</div>
<div class="">- Can I have dates with them or only sleep with them</div>
<div class="">- What am I allowed to do with them sexually</div>
<div class="">- Can I have emotional or romantic feelings for them</div>
<div class="">- Etc.</div>
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<div class=""><b class="">Level of Transparency: </b></div>
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<div class="">When does my partner need to know about this person?</div>
<div class="">- Initially attracted</div>
<div class="">- When something might happen</div>
<div class="">- When I want to make a move</div>
<div class="">- After the fact or before</div>
<div class="">- How much do I want to divulge to my partner</div>
<div class="">- How much does my partner want to know</div>
<div class="">- Can I have a veto on my partner partner’s</div>
<div class="">- Do I want my partner to have a veto on my partner’s</div>
<div class="">- Do our extra-conjugale partners need to know about our arrangement?</div>
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<div class="">Do I want equity (different rules depending on individual needs) or equality (same rules for both)?</div>
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<div class="">How do we manage a discrepancy?</div>
<div class=""> Ex: one partner is able to have partners more easily</div>
<div class="">- One needs to date multiple times a partner before they can have sex with them while the other doesn’t?</div>
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<div class=""><b class="">Why do I want theses rules</b></div>
<div class=""><b class="">Are they flexible</b></div>
<div class=""><b class="">Are they based on insecurities? If so which ones? What am I going to do about my insecurity? (This is where you need to be honest with yourself more than with your partner)</b></div>
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<div class="">2) Show each other’s rules</div>
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<div class="">Find the middle grounds  you already have</div>
<div class="">Find the differences and express how you feel about a rule you want or the rule the other one wants to have</div>
<div class="">Find where you disagree or feel a rule isn’t fair or equal</div>
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<div class=""><b class="">Rules to follow when having the exchange:</b></div>
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<div class="">- Don’t get frustrated or insulted by the other persons rules or choices</div>
<div class="">- Try to understand why the rule is there and show compassion for insecurities</div>
<div class="">- Self-confront your insecurities rather than impose them as rules for the other person to follow</div>
<div class="">- Avoid assumptions, but question each other on your perceptions</div>