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<h4 style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Redefine Your Couple's Dynamic in Sexuality*</b></span></span></h4>
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<h3><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Intimacy and its Multiple Definitions</b></span></span></h3>
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<div lang="en-US" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The concept has been defined in a multitude of different ways. Sometimes, it is used to describe two or more people having sexual activities together (e.g. «My husband and I were having an intimate moment last night»). It can also refer to someones nudity or private sexual activities such as masturbation (e.g. «I need my intimacy when I am changing in my room». «Masturbation is an intimate moment with ourselves»). It can even refer to genitalia (e.g. «Those are my intimate parts»). </span></span></div>
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<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">What all of these have in common is </span><u><span style="font-weight: normal;">self-disclosure </span></u><span style="font-weight: normal;">or lack thereof. When we share a part of ourselves with another person we are self-disclosing who we are. There are various types and degrees of intimacy such as emotional, sexual, professional, etc. We can show our naked body, divulge sexual fantasies dreams preferences and also share our feelings towards another person. For most people, </span><u><span style="font-weight: normal;">sexual intimacy </span></u><span style="font-weight: normal;">is the hardest subject to disclose to someone else. Our sexuality is at the core of our personality as it shows our deepest fears, our strengths and vulnerability to truly demonstrate who we are as a person. </span></span></span></div>
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<h3><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>What Intimacy is <u>NOT</u>!</b></span></span></h3>
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<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">There is a misconception in our society that intimacy is </span><u><span style="font-weight: normal;">always </span></u><span style="font-weight: normal;">fun, romantic and loving between partners. This is untrue! The more we get to know our partner, we start realizing that they do not only have good qualities and strengths, but also limits, quirks, vulnerabilities, emotional issues and sexual issues, etc. As much as we would want to believe that we love each and every part of our partner, we don't. Well, not in a long term relationship anyway. In fact, in short-term relationships we can't really know our partner because we haven't been with them long enough. We project and imagine who this person is, without knowing who they truly are in </span><u><span style="font-weight: normal;">reality</span></u><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Over </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;">the course of a relationship, people will change as well. We are not static and immobile as people. We think, we evolve and change our minds. We change our minds as a matter of fact quite frequently. Therefore, intimacy is not only sharing a special moment where partners connect on a </span><u><span style="font-weight: normal;">positive </span></u><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">and </span></span><u><span style="font-weight: normal;">profound </span></u><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">level. It's also getting to know our partner on levels that we don't necessarily appreciate, agree with or that validate our own perception of sex. Intimacy is also telling our partner when sex wasn't that good or that we don't desire them sexually anymore or we don't appreciate the way they touch and seduce us. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<h3><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Unavoidable Conflicts</b></span></span></h3>
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<div lang="en-US" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">It is inevitable that we will find differences in the long run between ourselves and our partner. Sometimes these differences are just annoying; we can also hate them, find them to be a nuisance which interferes with our happiness in the couple and even reconsider if we still want to be with this person. It's impossible to find a partner that we get along with on everything we share together. Our sexual preferences, the type of sex we want, our sexual fantasies, the way we flirt and initiate sex may not align perfectly with our partners sexuality. </span></span></div>
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<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">This will inevitably bring conflicts in our relationships, which brings us to the </span><span style="color: #0084d1;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://montreal.sexcoupletherapy.com/2013/06/emotional-gridlock.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">choice to go through or avoid it entirely.</a></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;">This is where intimacy comes into play in couples. People who don't have a strong «</span><span style="color: #0084d1;"><u><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background: transparent;"><a href="http://montreal.sexcoupletherapy.com/2013/06/sexual-intimacy-sexual-desire-part-4.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">4 points of balance</a></span></span></u></span><span style="color: black;"><u><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background: transparent;">» </span></span></u></span><span style="font-weight: normal;">will perceive differences as threats to the stability of their couple. Partners will start avoiding self-disclosure to prevent feelings of rejection from the other partner or avoid hurting them. </span></span></span></div>
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<div lang="en-CA" style="line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Francois Renaud M.A.</span></span></div>
<a style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 24px;" href="http://www.sexcoupletherapy.com/">Sex therapist &amp; Psychotherapist Montreal</a><a style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;" href="http://www.sexcoupletherapy.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">l</a>

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</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>READ MORE : </b></span></span>

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<div lang="en-US" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><u><a href="http://montreal.sexcoupletherapy.com/2013/06/sexual-intimacy-part-2.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Two Very Different Types of Intimacy Part 2</a></u></span></span></div>
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<div lang="en-US" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><u><a href="http://montreal.sexcoupletherapy.com/2013/06/sexual-intimacy-sexual-desire-part-3.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">How Intimacy Affects Sexual Desire Part 3</a></u></span></span></div>
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<div lang="en-US" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><u><a href="http://montreal.sexcoupletherapy.com/2013/06/sexual-intimacy-sexual-desire-part-4.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The 4 Points of Balance Part 4</a></u></span></span></div>
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<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Other related articles:</b></span></span></div>
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<div lang="en-US" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><u><a href="http://montreal.sexcoupletherapy.com/2013/03/why-its-hard-to-truly-commit-to-our.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Why It's Truly Hard to Commit to Our Relationships</a></u></span></span></div>
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<div lang="en-US" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><u><a href="http://montreal.sexcoupletherapy.com/2013/06/emotional-gridlock.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Emotional Gridlock</a></u></span></span></div>
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<div lang="en-US" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><u><span style="color: black;"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><a href="http://montreal.sexcoupletherapy.com/2013/01/a-lack-of-sexual-desire-is-good-for.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">A Lack of Sexual Desire is Good for Your Couple!</a></span></span></span></u></span></span></div>
<h3 style="font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><a href="http://montreal.sexcoupletherapy.com/2012/12/couples-communication-issues-or-unable.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Couple’s Communication Issues or Unable to Tolerate Intimacy?</a></span></span></span></span></span></h3>
<div lang="en-US" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-decoration: none;" align="JUSTIFY"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">* Inspired by the book Intimacy and Desire from David Schnarch</span></div>
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